Saturday, June 7, 2014

Don't read this one

This post contains censored swearwords.

I remember one time I was in a place of reflection and being broken hearted. I was in this very raw and broken awe of God, His grace, and His mercy.

I remember I said something controversial and provocative that drew a lot of backlash.
I said "Jesus only died for the F*** ups"

It had some people absolutely appalled. How vile a thing to say. How uncouth an utterance.

Yeah, it was devoid of tact. Yeah, there are dozens of different ways that I could have conveyed it...

yet,  there I was sitting in reflection of that undeserved mercy with the heaviness of all that is my sin and my failures pressing deep on my heart so hard that I felt like it was crushing me,
Disgusting by a moral standard having fallen down and ran away and hidden and touted my proud face and angry words.....

I'd F*** up.

... and he still died to redeem me.

The bible states that all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  being justified as a gift by His grace...
 through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus;
 whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith.
 This was to demonstrate His righteousness,
because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed;
 for the demonstration, I say, of His righteousness at the present time, so that He would be just
and the justifier
of the one who has faith in Jesus
- Romans 3

"Have faith," The man dying for me had said, "And I WILL make you something NEW"

We live in a broken world, with hurt people who want blood. We often look out at the broken people and we want to break them even more for how we have been hurt by them....

.... and then there is this man, dying for us, while we ourselves were/are/are going to be, F*** ups.

He says, "You want to help me heal the world?"

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’
 But I say to you,
 do not resist an evil person;
but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
 If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.
Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two.
 Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?  Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

And there is the definition of perfection....
I can tell you in the year(s) since I initially made that post,

.... I'm still pretty lousy at Mercy and Grace and Loving my enemies.
When I feel wronged I get loud and I yell and I tell all the people about how wrong it was.....
....and I don't love enough.
... I don't fix enough.
I don't die enough....
I still get pretty indignant and F*** things up for myself and others. In my flesh, I perpetuate the brokenness of society.
I become part of the problem instead of a reflection of a solution.
That one sentence... That one controversial sentence... contained the stark contrast of mans vulgarity and God's compassion.

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