Truth be told...

Socrates said that the unexamined life isn't worth living.

Isn't that supposed to be a major element of Christ like living? Introspection and self examination as your heart and desire is to live and follow the example of the creator?

Truth be told,
There are days that I look at my life and I examine its pieces and parts and I think to myself... I hope that I am not part of a lukewarm faith that cause my savior to puke... pukewarm faith.

There are days when I read passages like these...
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. (James 2)

I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. (rev 3)

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (rev 3)


... and I pray for God's forgiveness and that when he take me, may it be on a day that I'm closest to him.

Truth be told I worry about the church too a lot of the time.
We're concerned about star positions and we're up in arms about the various calendars, and we've got many long winded sermons about parallels and shadow pictures of tribes and the Messiah. We get divisive over these things. I've seen people get riled up about the name of God or if you call Yeshua, Jesus.

The day of atonement is coming up and I'm looking at my own flaws and failures and I know that there are areas in my live that I need to address and pick up a phone for.

I wonder how many in the church are really humble enough to pick up the phone for their wrongs and transgressions.
I saw it once. In my years in this "movement" and all the days that it encompassses. I saw it truly and honestly once where men wept on the necks of each other as they brought out heartfelt repentance to one another.

.... it isn't the feel good gnostic superiority "why don't they understand like we do" "deeper meaning" style of church.

It is deep, and it is simple, and it is real, and it is vulnerable, and it is humble and there is this way about it that leaves you face to face with they way you are and the way you have been with people...
and you're on your knees knowing what you've been capable of because your brothers and your sisters that have striven with you, who have been neglected by you, minimised by you, chastised, slandered, insulted by you are standing before you...
and having begged their forgiveness for your transgressions against them .... It's impossible to stand before God with pride in your heart.

" I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,  leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. ( matt 5)


there are people that are embarassed and ashamed of issues and trials that they have gone through in their lives.... and they are embarrassed to come through the doors...
Truth be told, in infuriates me that that a lot of the time the church wont go out to meet that person and help carry their burden or help wash away their embarrassment with the fortitude of godly forbearance.

Truth be told I hear it a lot in church about how many people come to service because they want the really meaty stuff.... they don't want the milk, they want the deep and meaty word of God, they want the good stuff.
many of these people say that their plate is too full when it comes to being there for those who are hurting and suffering.
To tell you the truth... it hurts me. It does not escape my eyes, and it resonates within my heart.

there is a quote I heard the other day that hit me pretty hard.

"If the church is not for the suffering, then the church is not for Christ."

For me, I'm trying. I fail. I get tired. I get weak. I want to give up. I want to let go. I want to turn my back on all of it.

.... but that would make me just as much of the problem.
and God is not deserving of my arrogant defiance.
He knows it. He helps me with it, but he is not worthy of my rebellion.

I came to the church because I needed a place where I could speak of my brokenness among others who would understand, not with mind but with experience.
Truth be told, I do feel that with a lot of people in my church.
God's grace be upon their effort.
The house of God is a place for the truth to be told....

foremost, by action.