We’ve spoken about God’s authority and headship. We’ve spoken about how man is supposed to be that reflection of God to his bride, and how that bride is to reflect the bride of Christ. In submission to God’s will and His rulership and authority, we’re walking in that covenant relationship as one who walks with the bridegroom. I’d like to look now at the subjects relating to the idea that we are in a marriage to the Creator of Heaven and earth. If marriage is a parallel of God and our marriage to Him, then we’d see such matters of Adultery and Polygamy as directly oppositional. Whenever polygamy is mentioned, a few points are usually brought up:
1. David had multiple wives and was a man after God’s own heart.
2. The Bible never says polygamy is wrong.
3. Joash had two wives.
As I looked at the scriptures regarding David, These passages stood out to me
Deuteronomy 17:17 He shall not multiply wives for himself, or else his heart will turn away; nor shall he greatly increase silver and gold for himself.
1 Samuel 25:43David had also taken Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both became his wives.
2 Samuel 11:14-15 14 Now in the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it by the hand of Uriah. 15He had written in the letter, saying, “Place Uriah in the front line of the fiercest battle and withdraw from him, so that he may be struck down and die.”
1 Chronicles 28:3 “But God said to me, ‘You shall not build a house for My name because you are a man of war and have shed blood.’
David was in violation of this prohibition against taking multiple wives. God watched as that sin grew into a greater sin. David did turn his heart from the ways of God when He committed adultery with Bathsheba. He then made it worse when he committed violence against Uriah. Then David rounded it out and took Bathsheba to be his wife. That is 3 sins, not one. Adultery, Murder, and Polygamy.
Remember what God said in Genesis?
Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
The one wife. Not wives. This is again affirmed in Matthew 19
Matthew 19:5 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh
If the parallel of us entering the marriage covenant with God is that we are like the Bride and Him the Bridegroom, then polygamy and adultery would be the parallel of us saying we love God, while we cheat on Him with other gods. There seems to be a correlation to either violence or the turning one's heart away from trusting God that occurs when polygamy is involved. A case can be made from Genesis as mentioned in the chapter about the nephilim
Genesis 4: 19 Lamech took to himself two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other, Zillah.
Genesis 4: 22As for Zillah, she also gave birth to Tubal-cain, the forger of all implements of bronze and iron; and the sister of Tubal-cain was Naamah.23 Lamech said to his wives, “Adah and Zillah, Listen to my voice, You wives of Lamech, Give heed to my speech, For I have killed a man for wounding me; And a boy for striking me; 24If Cain is avenged sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.”
Genesis 6:2 that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose.
Genesis 6:13¶Then God said to Noah, “The end of all flesh has come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence because of them; and behold, I am about to destroy them with the earth.
Lamech took two wives, and then he killed a man for wounding him and killed a boy for striking him. He likens this killing to Cain, his father the first murderer. Next thing we see is Lamech’s son making instruments of war. Then it says that the sons of God took whatever wives they liked- potentially in addition to the ones that they already had- then the earth is filled with violence and the world is destroyed.
1 Kings 11:3 -6 He had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned his heart away.4 For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been. 5For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians and after Milcom the detestable idol of the Ammonites. 6Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the LORD, and did not follow the LORD fully, as David his father had done.
Solomon who built the temple of the Lord. Took way too many wives, and instead of being the example of Christ as King who has one bride, had his heart led astray to follow after other gods. There seems to be this connection to the fleshly desire craving more than one wife, and the perversion of purpose and headship that God established at creation. A critic of this mentioned that God said He’d have given David Saul’s wives, so that must mean that God supports polygamy. For a second, when I heard this I thought “what an interesting objection”. Then I read the passage in question and saw that the context was that God is the one that provides everything that David has ever needed all the days of his life. If David needed food, God had provided it. God gave David favor, gave him bread, gave him the entire kingdom of Israel and Judah. IF there was for some reason that David NEEDED more than one wife, It wasn’t for David to determine. God would have determined that and given him more than one wife.
2 Samuel 12:7-12 Nathan then said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘It is I who anointed you king over Israel and it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I also gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these! 9 Why have you despised the word of the Lord by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon. 10 Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ 11 Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. 12 Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun.’”
See that in verse 10? God says that David despised Him and took the wife of Uriah. He calls out David for despising the Word of the Lord. This is not an endorsement of polygamy. This is a rebuke. Look at the punishment, God says that because of the evil David did in taking wives, his offspring Absolom will also do so to him…. Publicly. Another reason we know God wasn’t saying “hey you need more wives, I’ll give you Saul’s wives” is because God already stated that this is against His will. David is married to Sauls daughter.
Deuteronomy 27:23 ‘Cursed is he who lies with his mother-in-law.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’
The fruit of David taking multiple wives is the death of so many people There are more examples
Judges 8:27-32 Gideon made it into an ephod, and placed it in his city, Ophrah, and all Israel played the harlot with it there, so that it became a snare to Gideon and his household.
28 So Midian was subdued before the sons of Israel, and they did not lift up their heads anymore. And the land was undisturbed for forty years in the days of Gideon.
29 Then Jerubbaal the son of Joash went and lived in his own house. 30 Now Gideon had seventy sons who were his direct descendants, for he had many wives. 31 His concubine who was in Shechem also bore him a son, and he named him Abimelech. 32 And Gideon the son of Joash died at a ripe old age and was buried in the tomb of his father Joash, in Ophrah of the Abiezrites.
Gideon who was a righteous judge of Israel even wandered into apostasy and played the harlot in adultery against God
2 Chronicles 11:22 Rehoboam appointed Abijah the son of Maacah as head and leader among his brothers, for he intended to make him king. 23 He acted wisely and distributed some of his sons through all the territories of Judah and Benjamin to all the fortified cities, and he gave them food in abundance. And he sought many wives for them.
2 Chronicles 12: When the kingdom of Rehoboam was established and strong, he and all Israel with him forsook the law of the Lord. 2 And it came about in King Rehoboam’s fifth year, because they had been unfaithful to the Lord, that Shishak king of Egypt came up against Jerusalem
Rehoboam was a king and sought many wives for himself and then he and all of Israel forsook the law of God, and were unfaithful. They cheated on God. They failed to represent the husbandly dominion of our King to His Bride.
2 Chronicles 24:2 Joash did what was right in the sight of the Lord all the days of Jehoiada the priest. 3 Jehoiada took two wives for him, and he became the father of sons and daughters.
2 Chronicles 24: 20 Then the Spirit of God came on Zechariah the son of Jehoiada the priest; and he stood above the people and said to them, “Thus God has said, ‘Why do you transgress the commandments of the Lord and do not prosper? Because you have forsaken the Lord, He has also forsaken you.’” 21 So they conspired against him and at the command of the king they stoned him to death in the court of the house of the Lord. 22 Thus Joash the king did not remember the kindness which his father Jehoiada had shown him, but he murdered his son. And as he died he said, “May the Lord see and avenge!”
This one was interesting, because the elements are here. Many wives, then, forsake God and then engage in violence. How do we then reconcile verse 2 and 3 since God doesn’t seem to endorse taking multiple wives, but it looks like the favor was upon him. To answer that, here is a quote.
"Some take this to mean that Jehoida gave Joash a two wives at the same time and since Joash is said to have “done what was right in the sight of the Lord” it must mean that polygamy is right in the sight of God. There are lots of problems with this interpretation. First, there is nothing here that requires us to read this in a polygamous way, for example, Joash could have one wife, and then she died, and then he was is given another, and Jehoida is the one who arranged a godly wife for the king. That’s a possible reading of the text.Another possibly reading is that that the Hebrew conjunctive vav in verse 3 is more properly translated as “but” instead of “and”, and if you ever learn Hebrew, one of the first things you’ll learn is that “vav” can mean and or but or other things and it depends on the context and flow of the passage to determine which it is. So in this case, it would actually be saying that Joash did was right in the sight of the Lord, except for, “but” he took two wives, and this would actually be a condemnation of the kind’s polygamous relationship, and it would concur with the law of Leviticus 18:18." - Aaron Ventura, pastor of Christ Covenant Church (CREC), Centralia, WA.
Everywhere in the Bible that Polygamy is present, it is a snare and a destructive force. There are no positive examples. Kings are to represent God and are prohibited from multiple wives as reflections of Christ to avoid hearts turning from God, and Paul gives us this same classification in Titus in regards to pastoral eldership.
Titus 1:5 For this reason I left you in Crete, that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you, 6 namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. 7 For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, 8 but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, 9 holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict.
Look at that. This passage in Titus about Godly leadership mirrors the call to Kings. All of the men who engaged in polygamy failed in their walks around the time where they were not husbands of one wife. Abraham went into Hagar in order to force the promise of God, and what was the result?
Genesis 16:2-3 So Sarai said to Abram, “Now behold, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I will obtain children through her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. 3 After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife.
In this example we have Abra(ha)m who is supposed to be waiting on God to fulfill his promise. Abraham is supposed to be leading his wife. Abraham, instead of leading his wife in waiting on the promises of God and God’s timing as an example of the Bride waiting on her husband, instead- acts like Adam in the garden and listens to his wife’s direction. At his wife's leadership, Abraham engages in polygamy. He does this while living in Canaan, and he takes an Egyptian woman- the two places mentioned as engaging in all forms of forbidden relationships in Leviticus 18. What is the result of ignoring God’s timing and trying to force His promise?
Genesis 16:5-6 And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done me be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, but when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her sight. May the Lord judge between you and me.” 6 But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your maid is in your power; do to her what is good in your sight.” So Sarai treated her harshly, and she fled from her presence.
Sarah afflicted her. One of the definitions is to bruise. It resulted in violence. Hagar ran away and God sent her back. That wasn’t the end of the division or contention in Abraham's house.
Genesis 21:9-11 Now Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, mocking. 10 Therefore she said to Abraham, “Drive out this maid and her son, for the son of this maid shall not be an heir with my son Isaac.” 11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because of his son.
Genesis 21: 14-17 So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar, putting them on her shoulder, and gave her the boy, and sent her away. And she departed and wandered about in the wilderness of Beersheba. 15 When the water in the skin was used up, she left the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went and sat down opposite him, about a bowshot away, for she said, “Do not let me see the boy die.” And she sat opposite him, and lifted up her voice and wept. 17 God heard the lad crying; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter with you, Hagar? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is.
This matter of Hagar is not God permitting polygamy. This is not what God’s order and headship resulted in. The laws governing polygamy in God’s law are not for endorsement of the practice, but for repentance. We are supposed to be a people that calls the world BACK to righteousness and walking in submission to God. In fact, to read Leviticus 18:18 as God permitting polygamy is to take the verse out of its meaning and context. Check this out,
“The legislation most frequently cited as support for polygamy and concubinage in the Pentateuch is found in Leviticus 18:18. This passage is commonly translated as tacitly allowing for plural marriages. For example, the NASB reads, “You shall not marry a woman in addition to her sister [Heb. ’ishah ’el-’akhotah, lit. ‘a woman to her sister’] as a rival while she is alive, to uncover her nakedness.” In this and most other modern versions, the phrase ’ishah ’el-’akhotah (“a woman to her sister”) is taken as referring to a literal (consanguine) sister. The implication of this reading is that although a certain incestuous polygamous relationship is forbidden (ie., marriage to two consanguine sisters while both are living, technically called sororal polygyny), polygamy in general is acceptable within the law. However, the Hebrew phrase ’ishah ’el-’akhotah (“a woman to her sister”) in its eight occurrences elsewhere in the Hebrew Bible always is used idiomatically in the distributive sense of “one in addition to another,” and nowhere refers to literal sisters.6 Likewise, the masculine equivalent of this phrase, ’ish ’el-’akiw (“a man to his brother”), appears twelve times in the Hebrew Bible, and is always used in a similar idiomatic manner with a distributive meaning of “one to another” or “to one another,” and nowhere is it to be translated literally as “a man to his brother.”7 Consistent with usage elsewhere in Scripture, Leviticus 18:18 should be taken idiomatically and distributively as referring to “one [woman/wife] in addition to another [woman/wife],” and not to literal sisters.”- Davidson, Richard M., "Condemnation and Grace: Polygamy and Concubinage in the Old Testament" (2015). Faculty Publications. 69
Is that not consistent with the rest of the scripture? Abraham vexed Sarah by listening to her council and taking another wife in addition to her. Jacob didn’t seek to practice Polygamy it was an evil that was done to him by an evil man.
Genesis 29:21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife, for my time is completed, that I may go in to her.” 22 Laban gathered all the men of the place and made a feast. 23 Now in the evening he took his daughter Leah, and brought her to him; and Jacob went in to her. 24 Laban also gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah as a maid. 25 So it came about in the morning that, behold, it was Leah! And he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served with you? Why then have you deceived me?” 26 But Laban said, “It is not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the firstborn. 27 Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also for the service which you shall serve with me for another seven years.”
Laban was a wicked man, emphasizing Dominance over Jacob for profit and not in the ways of God. Laban was a diviner who engaged in wickedness.
Genesis 30: But Laban said to him, “If now it pleases you, stay with me; I have divined that the Lord has blessed me on your account.”
He was a man that served idols.
Genesis 31: 19 When Laban had gone to shear his flock, then Rachel stole the household idols that were her father’s.
When Laban chases after Jacob in his departure understanding that Jacob’s leaving was by the hand of God, he makes him swear by YHVH that Jacob won’t take other wives
Gen 31:50-53 If you mistreat my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us, see, God is witness between you and me.” 51 Laban said to Jacob, “Behold this heap and behold the pillar which I have set between you and me. 52 This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass by this heap to you for harm, and you will not pass by this heap and this pillar to me, for harm. 53 The God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.” So Jacob swore by the fear of his father Isaac.
I don’t need to quote the entire story to you to show that the infighting and the contention between Rachel and Leah was NOT God’s design for what a marriage is supposed to be. It certainly isn’t a model for OUR marriage to Him as the bride of Christ.
Proverbs 5:18-23 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. 20 For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress And embrace the bosom of a foreigner? 21 For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, And He watches all his paths. 22 His own iniquities will capture the wicked, And he will be held with the cords of his sin.23 He will die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.
Did that say the harem of your youth? Did it say rejoice in the brothel of maidens that you have taken as wives? It does not. It’s ONE wife. Rejoice in your one wife. Be satisfied in HER breasts. Not in several, not in many womens, but hers- your wifes. If you are satisfied with your wife at all times, as is this prescriptive command- you’re not looking for another woman. If you’re always exhilarated with HER love, you’re not looking for someone else's love. God is JEALOUS for His bride, for our love and affection and attention. He doesn’t take another, we’re not supposed to either. When we take our eyes off of Him and our role in His leadership, in His dominion, as our Husband- then we seek carnality and we are led astray by the flesh and distort the image of God. We perverse every reflection of Him that He has made us to walk in.
2 Corinthians 11:2-3 For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin. 3 But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.
A husband that is looking for another wife in addition to the wife that he has, is NOT a husband that is focused on loving his current wife like Christ loves the Church. He is not a husband that is focused on being the bride of Christ, but rather to exaltation of self.
Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery
Matthew 5:27-30 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.
Looking at a woman with lust is adultery. Looking at someone with lust who is not your wife is adultery. This does NOT say “if your eye causes you to sin, just sin bro- its fine” or, “There are laws that regulate sin, therefore God is pleased if I go choose sin”, that would be a justification for flesh. That would be blasphemous. The imagery of severance from the body is so strong and severe here for a reason. We’re told throughout scripture that our focus is to be on God.
Matthew 6:31-33 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Just like God said with David, IF there was a need for multiple wives, He would have made it so. He forbids it, and therefore it is not so. The greatest commands from God are to Love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself. Loving God with all your heart, is submission to His leadership and dominion, and loving ONE spouse the way HE tells us to.
Revelation 19:7-9 Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” 8 It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.9 Then he *said to me, “Write, ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’” And he *said to me, “These are true words of God.”
One. One Bride.
